Think ive had enough of crying for you each time , before and after sleep . It's just hurting me too much . Knowing that after seven months plus of ups and downs , you're doing this to me . Guess , you're not meant to be mine . And next Sunday , would be our 8th month that you and i know each other . Those seven months plus of ups and downs was my most amazing seven months plus because it was spent with you . All my failed relationships that i had was , whatever , but with you .. it's just different . Guess , now it's just left as bittersweet memories . But thinking back of the seven months plus , it makes me smile ..
I miss 23rd January 2009 . Coz that's when i started to text you first . I miss thinking of all the excuses to just text you up . Yeah , i know , you texted me first last year and this year , it's me :) I miss it when you couldn't believe it was me and you kept asking Faz wether it was really me . I miss the time when i asked you when you were gonna believe that it was really me . I miss the time when i made up an excuse that i was texting you up because i was bored when actually .. I miss the time when we kept on fighting and you eventually told me not to text you anymore because of all the fights we had . My world was like haywire after that . But yeah , i soon got to text you back :)
I miss the time when we first met in an awkward manner . Where you had actually lend me your Senior's DNT folio for my DNT work . I miss the time when i had to return it to you and you were such a lazybum to get your butts off the canteen bench and i eventually had to come to you . I miss it that after that , i made my fight with N* as an excuse to talk to you . And after that , you walked home with me . Just the two of us . I was madly jumping for joy because before that , you told me not to text you anymore and soon , you took back your words :)
I miss it when you and i first went out together , eating at KFC on a friday where all the malay boys actually had to go pray and you were with me . I miss the time when we had our first breakfast together on a monday morning at MCD and you were .. LATE . While you were eating , your classmate was there . And you had actually fooled him . I miss the time where i first saw you run during the HEATS and me and N* was screaming
"GO D*" for you . I miss the time , where at the same day , Faz was saying
" maen mate mate eh ngan dier " He was actually referring to you and me . HAH . Nonsense . And also , on that very same day , there were this one whole group of Tampines Rovers Players sitting around me and talking to me and how i was relieved you weren't there x) I miss the day before sports day .. where i got to fish for your feelings . And truth out! You finally confessed to me :) Yeah , that day .. when you also said ,
" If suhanna support me , then sure can win ! " During sports day .. when you were running with S* , the guy you were drop dead jealous of . I was madly hoping for you to win , but you got second place instead , after S* who was first . But still , you ran and did a great job and i was happy that at least , you got second . After sports day , where you talked to me on your way out and F* was beside you and he secretly telling you how N* looked like a makcik . HAH. And i was suposed to meet you after that but didn't happen since you told me to come to you -.-
I miss the time when we fought , where i had actually not trusted you and thought you had someone else .. And then i blogged about it .. Yeah , though i had high fever , i got to go home with you , to settle things . And that very night , when we fought face to face at our spot at inter , i feared of losing you . I miss you telling me ,
" I lose you last year because of A* , and i dont wanna lose you again . " And then right when my bus came , you said
" I just want you to know that , there's no other girls in my heart and I .. LOVE YOU . " I miss two days before your KL trip , where you had shyly asked me for my photo >.< 2323hour . And that night , where you said ILY before you went to sleep . The next morning , where i had met you to go to school with you . Seeing you in the morning just brighten up my day . Where i went out with you later that day , off to Tampines Mall - Toys R US , where you told me all about you and your family . Where i was searching for BEN10 and you cutely said you've killed BEN10 when i couldn't find him . Where you said BEN10 phoned you up telling me to
"Watch Out " haha . I miss waiting for you to end your CCA on that day , so that i could get to see you for the last time before you went to KL . I miss the time when at that night , you told me to call you and you were waiting for your small sis who was late . I miss texting you till you slept and waking up early the next morning just to text you so that i could accompany you till you were in KL . I miss the time when you borrowed your friend's phone to text me . I miss the time dreading the days you were in KL because my life was such a bore without you . I miss the time when i was madly overjoyed when you came back because it meant that i had you to entertain me :)
I miss the last day of the march holiday , Friday . Where i had waited for you to end your CCA after mine . Where you bought for me bubble tea and we took the train together . Where i had actually hit your head wih your drumsticks :P Where you had to alight and then suddenly there was this scary man who sat beside me . He was KPO-ing and you had actually told me to show your texts to him . HAHA . I miss the time when i called you a HANTU!:O and said Cute like Casper^^ and DEAD! I miss it where you texted me all the way to accompany me at the hospital till home .
I miss it when i met you after HMT at Bedok Interchange and had actually gone with you to fetch you sis from her school . I miss seeing you carry her bag and holding her hands .. It melted me . I miss those fights we had , where you made me cry for you and i tried my very best to hold on . I miss the time where i was kinda angry at you , that i was supposed to meet you after your sound check for your SYF but didn't tell you i was going to watch the guys' tournament . Eventually , i left before meeting you and guess you were kinda fed up . But nevertheless , i got to go home with you after that .. with D* by your side :S And then , i was giving you the attitude xP I miss it that you told me to think positively and that my team could win the Floorball match that we had . I miss telling you first , each time we won a match . I miss you waiting for me to get back to school after my match . But you eventually had to go first ):
I miss us spending time together . Where one of the days , where we were released early (half day) and we had actually met up after having breakfast with our friends . That day .. where we went to different places . Tampines mall then century square then tampines mall againg and century square . We did that for about 3 times before finally going off to E!hub . Where i was always standing a step or two higher on the escalator just to be taller than you . I miss you telling me i was cute . Where we sat at level 5 and we played BINGO and you were always winning . Where you showed me the MADTV video on your phone -
" Can i have you number ? " hahah . Where after that , we sat at the interchange , our normal spot . I miss lying on your shoulder , the comfort .
I miss going back home with you on a thursday . Where i had skipped CMT . Where we sat at the interchange after that , sharing stories , making jokes . Where you pulled my shoes off . Where you tried to make me jealous and i wanted to walk off but you .. I miss it when we changed place and sat at our normal spot at interchange . Where i had lay my head on your shoulder and then suddenly there was this MAKCIK staring at us and i quickly sat up straight . But you said
"don't worry" and gently pushed my head on your shoulder .
I miss it when you were reading to me the Speech Day consent form and asking me how was it . I miss volunteering myself to go for speech day just to see you . I miss drawing your name on my shoe and you were kinda mad when you didn't see your name on my shoe . I miss your reaction when i finally showed you your name on my shoe ;) I miss the last day of school . Where i had promised to meet you after such a long time of not meeting . We did , only for a while because there was suddenly an urgent call from the hospital about my late granny . I miss you pinching me because i didn't want to get on the train . I miss it when after i got on the train , you told me not to worry and that my late granny was gonna pull through . I miss telling you what happened after that .
I miss crying for you 3 days after my late granny's funeral because of you . I miss it when you wanted to end this but didn't because i was crying and you had actually called me up . I miss it when i called you back up again at 2 am in the morning to settle things out . And then from settling things out , we moved on to others . I miss talking to you till 5 in the morning . It was hard to put down coz i didn't wanna end that conversation but i had to because my ppd was low ):
I miss blogging about how i missed you during the june holidays because your prepaid was low . I miss wishing for you to top up fast . I miss you telling me that you've read my blog and that you too missed me . I miss how you wasted the lst few cents of your prepaid just to talk to me and tell me how you badly missed me . I miss being happy after knowing you've topped up . I miss you asking me out but i had to reject it because it was a last minute thing . I miss you getting angry at me because of that . I miss when you asked me out again and how i had said yes . I miss calling you GALAH and how you would either call me a MIDGET or get angry . I miss on the same night , you texting me GALAH(L)SHORTASS with the heartshape and how i said it was cool and you added another three hearts in your next message to me .
I miss it how i woke up early to dress up to go out with you . I miss when you said
" Katik , are you gonna be late later ? " That just made me laugh . Haha. I miss going out with you to town . I miss when you asked me to choose for you the clothes and opinions . Where first , i had chosen the colour for the V neck shirt that you bought . I miss you asking me how your threequarter pants that you wanted to buy was . I miss the time where you went to this particular shop in penin and you wanted to chose a bright yellow shirt which was too striking . I miss you bullying me for the directions . Where we were almost lost . Me and you saying
" the most , hilang je " I miss us taking the train to bugis where you had actually "cornered me" kinda to protect me . Where you suddenly place your head ontop of mine for a short while . I miss the time we ate at LJS at Bugis and you paid for me . I miss the time where we ate the same thing at LJS and it was difficult to cut this chicken patty where i was actually confident i could cut it x) I miss the time when i grabbed your hand in bugis street to lead you to the place where you wanted to buy guy accessories . And you said i was walking too fast . Haha . I miss it when you actually wanted to buy for me this Pink bracelet but i had actually rejected it :P I miss it when we got lost in the second level of Bugis Street and you were clever enough to find the way out . I miss when you wanted to buy this Pink shirt but didn't since it was big and free size . I miss it when we took the train tampines and saw your cousin . I miss it when i brought you to cotton on but there wasn't anything to buy though there was sale . I miss it when you had actually want to buy something from TOPSHOP but didnt because your friend wasn't working on that day . I miss it when we walked around Tampines 1 after that before finally deciding to go home . I miss seating at our normal spot at inter after that . I miss you sending me home ^^ sitting at the place near the river beside my house before i finally went home . I miss you excitedly telling me that you bought a camera bag at Bedok .
I miss the time when suddenly you texted me up to tell me to forget about you and i was asking you too much questions . And this thing continued till 3+ in the morning . I miss it when i said
"abeh diammm ." and you replied
" NO . I STILL LOVE YOU!" I miss it when you told me that you couldn't be liking someone who has many admirers . I miss it when you promised :
" I WONT LEAVE YOU ALONE " This thing led to a fight until on the Thursday of the first week of open school , we fought . You told me how i was being dramatic and how not sincere i was . I slowly took in the words , lazy to hold on any longer and held a grudge on you . Three weeks of silence in both of us . Bet you could remember :)
And then on the last week of the fight i got in contact with S* and went to the movies with him .
I miss losing in contact with S* just for you , so you wouldn't be able to feel guilty , insecure , jealous or whatsoever . So problems won't arise .
I miss it when on the following week , you sent me a long message , how sorry you were and how you couldn't forget about me and how those words that you said to me actually came back haunting you . Oh , i was way way excited , i tell you . That finally , it was an end to our fight . But days after that was different . It was different . I miss it when sent me chained messages . I miss it when i told you how screwed my life was and you told me
" In life , there's ups and downs . You just have to go through it patiently and everything would be alright . " I miss it when you sent me this particular message and i had actually replied
" HAH nonsense ." and you replied that you were just trying to cheer me up with the life that im facing which was harsh .
I miss going back home with you on a Thursday , after my floorball . Where before that , we were walking in a big group . I miss sitting with you at the interchange , not at our spot , that very same day , and i was telling you about XY and suddenly he appeared . And then he sat down with us and we chatted till 8 . I miss it that during the chat , you guys were bullying me and poking me at the sides .
I miss you asking me in advance the next day to spent time with you after school . I miss telling you about S* and how you were drop dead jealous and suddenly was mad at me because of that .. I miss you crying for me . I miss it when i couldn't take it anymore that i called up N* and L* to meet up with them to share it with someone . I miss telling you how sorry i was and thought you wouldn't mind since it was past . I miss you telling me not to do anything stupid but i did . For You .
I miss 07 August 2009 , in short , 789 . I miss the time where i had to wait for you duper long to meet you to settle things . It was a week after what happened . I miss when you brought me to this place at Pasir Ris Town Park to settle things . I miss the way you said things out . How harsh it was on me and how you made me cry . I miss telling you the last sentence and walking off . I miss you catching after me and continue talking about IT . I miss it when i really couldn't take it that i said my last sentence and really walked fast to make you stop following me . I miss it when after that , you told me to listen to you . And there , right infront of the fish pond , you said to me ,
" What if i were to tell you .. that all this was made up !?" Yeah , and you were laughing . I pinched you right in the stomach and suddenly , just suddenly , you put your arms around me , like you were hugging me . Yeah , i miss that . And i miss you telling me at the same pont of time
" You can like many but you can only love one . And i love you . " I miss that ,
badly . I miss it that suddenly , we were holding hands . It was hard to believe at first but yeah , it was wonderful . I miss it that you wanted to buy bubble tea and how we sat first . I miss when you tried to force me to drink your bubble tea and i didn't . I miss it when after that , we walked to Pasir Ris Park , through some way i didn't even know in the first place :O I miss it when my sister called asking who i was with and you were disturbing me ! I miss when we were walking to PRP and you were holding my hand . I miss the silence that we had until , suddenly , you asked me to be yours . If you didn't realise it , i gave your hand a gentle squeeze . I was overjoyed that finally , i was yours . I miss us walking to this particular spot , where you said you didn't wanna get wet . I miss when i went down and walked along the beach , you followed to and suddenly , your Primary School Friends shouted for you . I miss it when you wanted to go to them and you had asked me to follow you along . I miss it when your friends asked you who i was . I miss it when one of them wanted for your number but tak jadi because both of you were afraid i would get jealous . I miss it when we sat at one of the bench and you showed me the new perfume you bought . I miss lying down you and you placed your hands around my waist while holding my hand with the other hand . I miss it when we walked off to find for a shop for drinks because we were both thirsty .
I miss it when we were holding hands while walking to the shop . I miss it when my shoe got dirty because we stepped on a soft soil ^^ I miss it when you grab me strongly while you and i clean my shoe up . I miss it when we got on the bus back to my place . I miss when you held my hand in the bus . I miss walking around with you aimlessly near my blk to pass time . I miss sitting at the bench of blk 119 , lying on your shoulder , holding your hands still . I miss you kissing my hand . I miss you telling me
"i'm fortunate to have you ." I miss you sending me back home .
I miss you calling me at that night suddenly when i was asleep . I miss when i couldn't get back to sleep after your call and texted you up instead . I miss your early morning text the next morning ur
" Hey Baby " texts . I miss finding fault with you , getting all drop dead jealous and insecure after knowing some truth . I miss your
" That i love you to the core . Haha :D " text right after i asked you to tell me something which i've yet to know . I miss your texts constantly reminding me that you LOVED ME .
I miss making you worried together with my friends telling you how i actually did something stupid . I miss meeting you last wednesday , telling you the whole story .. about how everything was fake :) I miss it when you shot me directly and how i was supposed to change . I miss it when at night , we were cuddling up to each other at the bench near the river beside my house . I miss sitting on your lap at the same time , you hugging me . I miss telling you how i didn't wanna lose you and you going all
" You think I wanna lose you ? " I miss you poking me at the side , tickling me inside . I miss the time when you went
" Oh , you have a stomach ? I thought you're flat ^^ " xO I miss you sending me home . I miss hugging you before entering the lift , telling you how much i loved you . I miss what you did when i hugged you last wednesday night . I miss when you told me not to text you because your batt was low and how you told me to take care and your last ILY text . 8.14pm .
"23rd January 2009 , i got to know you. 07 August 2009 , finally ure mine mann...
I couldn't get anymore delighted than this . :) " I miss that text .
"Yah, duhh! Im afraid of losing you kay... haha :D " I miss that text too .
I miss you calling me
Dear / Baby / Sweetiepie .
I miss it when you told me to tell you if there was any numbers that texted me or called me , that i dont even know because then , you say you'll tell them :
" Not to bother my gf ." I miss that .
I miss how you told me that my hair tops all the choices i gave you . I miss telling you
how much i loved you .I miss disturbing you when you had your kompang every monday night .
I miss you telling S* not to potong jalan / disturb . Dont think i dont know ! ^^
I miss you showing me the letter T* gave you and the texts of some chinese girl who confessed to you .
I miss you saying you had STM -.-
I miss it when i had accidentally told you to fcuk off and you went all okay , and i was like , begging you to come back . Yes that . I miss your laughter , i miss your texts , i miss your pranks , i miss your smiles , i miss your hugs , i miss holding your hands , i miss you kissing my hand , i miss your warmth , i miss your jokes , i miss sitting on your lap , i miss cuddling up to you . In short , i just miss you .
I shouldn't have cared for HER feelings , how she cried for you and went all overprotective when i was with you . I know you told me not to and yeah , i was wrong for not obeying you .
All your texts , still saved in my phone . It's just too hard to delete it . 7 months of ups and downs , 7 days of relationship . 789 , D . All the bittersweet memories i shared with you is too much to be stated down here .
It's just too hard for me to accept it because , i was framed . FRAMED . I couldn't possibly be doing all those , D . Look , i wasn't in school for 3 days . I didn't post anything after you know i know on my blog . And i didn't tell anyone anything close to that . Why instantly blame me, without asking , D? You know i just loved you too much to be doing such stupid things that will result me in losing you .. So where's the logic over here ? How can i possibly be spreading something so inhumane when i wasn't even close to any secondary 3s let alone your friends ? Why must i be spreading such stuffs when at that point of time , i know you loved me and i trusted you ? And who can i be telling SHE STOLE HIM AWAY FROM ME who is a secondary 3 ? You ? Your bestbuds ? Your band mates ? Come on , i'm not even in contact with any of them except for you . It's unaccpetable and painful , D . When can you realise , ive got other better things to do ? I PROMISED you that i would change ! It's just too much , D . Too much . That it's bleeding me inside .
But as i type all this out , i'm gonna shed my last tear for you and slowly .. just really slowly , learn to let you go , though it hurts , alot .
Hoping , you'd come back someday . And i shall , forever and always , remember your phrase that you're always telling me .
" You can like many , but you can only love one . " I can't bother you , now that you're happy .. coz i
dont interfere in people's relationships .
But , i will always remember the guy who has made a great impact in my life , where he was once , the reason i loved .
& baby , i will wait for you .
I Love You , D . -Sue .
Just Like You , i believe in karma .
What goes around , comes back around . One day , you're gonna experience the same thing . And from there , i just hope , you'll realise , how painful it was for me to end everything , because of something which wasn't my fault . I just hope , that the truth will be out , soon .
Read :
http://endiy-elcortodama.blogpsot.com OR
http://livelaughlove-dee.blogspot.com Labels: I love you too much, it shows.
♥You and Me
12:57 PM
Sunday, August 16, 2009